Author Archives: Alan Burkhart

About Alan Burkhart

I consider myself a free thinker and as such, I'm skeptical of just about everything. I've discovered over the years that the truth is often found in the unlikeliest of places. I don't claim to be an expert on anything. But I do enjoy sharing my thoughts. Your thoughts are of course welcome as well.

Pushing Up Daisies

Flower_DeadHandCue creepy woo-woo music…

Late that night, Sally was awakened by a strange whispering sound outside her window. Unnerved, she dressed and slipped outside to find the source of the haunting sound. Her heart leapt into her throat as the whispering voice began calling her name.

“Saaallly… Saaallly… Why did you do this to me?”

Sally fell to her knees beside the flower bed and began to cry. “Oh Grandmother,” she wailed, “I’m so sorry I composted you.” It was at that moment that the flowers reached for her…
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Regarding Melania

Melania_03OK, let me first say that I am NOT here to disrespect the First Lady. After a rocky start she has done all anyone has the right to expect of her to gain our respect. But I would like to have a frank discussion about who she is and how she got to where she is today. Not to question whether she should be First Lady, but about who she was before and the metamorphosis she has undergone.
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The Lava Lamp Project

 

ThumbnailSo the other day I got the crazy idea I’d build my own GIF animator. Actually wasn’t that hard because I was using a command line tool called GraphicsMagick. No that’s not a typo. They spell it with “ck.” Anyhow, I built a little UI with MS Visual Studio so that I could select the images via a file dialog, set the delay & dispose properties, and then automate writing the command script from Visual Basic.
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The Eyes Have It

 

 

CortezAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez has got some seriously scary eyes. And I got to wondering how those eyes would look on other famous people. You know, like how years ago a few people were trying out Jimmy Carter’s toothy smile on other presidents. Anyway, I fired up Paint.Net (my graphics editor of choice) and abused a few images of celebrities and politicians with the “Crazy Eyes.”

All the images use the eyes from the photo above.

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Holier Than Who?

 

HolierThanThouForgive me while I rant just a little. Having grown up in a Christian (Baptist) family, I have a lot of Christian friends. Some of us debate on occasion but it’s always with respect. Okay, usually with respect. Well, mostly anyway. Emoji_Smile_20x20 But a lifelong friend of our family (I’m not naming names), who is also a Baptist preacher recently posted the following on FB:
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Killing Kids For Fun And Profit

 

ParklandDontWantToDieSignIs it just me, or do the lives of children not mean as much as they used to? Kids, born and unborn, are dropping like flies for a variety of horrifying reasons. You can’t view any major news outlet without seeing crimes committed against children, sometimes by other children.
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Lost In Translation

 

donkeypreacherI have come to the conclusion that humanity’s biggest enemy isn’t some evil dictator or malevolent spirit. It’s our own ignorance. People have a maddening tendency to embrace their lack of basic knowledge on a given subject as if it were a badge of honor. They hide behind their erroneous presuppositions and then scoff at any bit of knowledge that disagrees with their misguided beliefs.
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Satanic Selfies?

satanstatuesegoviaspain

Image Credit:  City of Segovia

So here we go again. The Catholics have their feelings hurt. Why? Because the city of Segovia, Spain was going to allow a small statue of (gasp!) Satan to be placed on an aqueduct. It’s not the result of any Satanic cult or dark conspiracy. It’s about attracting tourists. Due to the unexpected controversy, a judge has ruled that the statue cannot be erected (the image is a mock-up) until the matter is settled.

Here’s To Your Health

medicaljesusTo one degree or another, most all of us try to stay healthy. It’s important to maintain both physical and emotional / mental health. You can be taking excellent care of your physical health, but poor emotional health can also effect you physically and vice versa. An important part of both physical and mental health is having some sort of healthy sex life. It’s also important to make certain you’re getting good advice on your health when you need it. And here my friends is where I again find it necessary to jump all over the Abrahamic religions. These people just don’t get it when it comes to health and sex.

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