Over the years I’ve seen a lot of people try to explain one or another unfortunate event by saying “everything happens for a reason.” This is just another way of saying “God works in mysterious ways.” If they were honest with themselves, they’d just admit that they have no clue why some random event took place. But people, Christians especially, have this need to assign agency to every little thing (or big thing) that happens in their lives. If it’s a good thing they want a god to thank for it. If it’s a bad thing they want to think there’s a “reason” for it.

So if everything happens for a reason, what was the reason why a cherished member of my family died from colon cancer? Why do so many children around the world suffer from starvation? What is the purpose of the HIV virus? Why was the Holocaust allowed to happen? Why was north Mississippi devastated by an EF4 tornado a few nights ago?

If you truly believe that your god is the author of all these things and more, then you should be asking if He is worthy of your praise, or if He even truly exists. If He exists, then He is either a bumbling incompetent or a deranged tyrant. Or, if He doesn’t exist then we can face the fact sometimes… shit just happens. I prefer the latter, because if it’s the former then I have no real control over my own life. And that is a terrifying thought.

While we’re at it, why do people bother to pray? If God is real then He already knows what’s going on. He already knows whether or not He’s going to let the doctors cure whatever malady you’re suffering from. To pray about it is to suggest that He hasn’t made up His mind about it. But if He’s omniscient then He already knows, right? See how silly this gets if you really think about it? Then again, Christians are taught that “thinking too much” can shake one’s faith in the Almighty. That’s what happened to me. I thought too much. I asked questions. And I realized one day that I’d wasted three decades of my life believing some bullshit story about a magic sky zombie.

That yoke is no longer around my neck. I’m free. My only regret is that it took me so long to wake up and smell the coffee.