2020 Hindsight

2020 was as we all know, a wacky and sometimes painful year. We’ve had worse years overall, but not lately. But as we watch 2020 drift away upon the Sea of Bad Memories, let’s take a look at a few of its final slaps in humanity’s collective face. Because you know, some truly silly shit happened in 2020.

Casey Anthony is now a business owner
Remember Casey? She got away with the murder of her two year-old daughter, Caylee. Casey in December filed paperwork to start a private investigation firm in South Florida called “Case Research & Consulting Services.” I find it ironic that she’s going into the PI business given her background. Hiring her to investigate a crime would be like being the first guy to kiss Monica Lewinsky after… well, anyway.
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570 Doses of Moderna Vaccine Ruined
Cops arrested a Milwaukee pharmacist Thursday suspected of deliberately ruining hundreds of doses of corona virus vaccine by removing them from refrigeration for two nights. The ruined vaccine was worth somewhere around $10,000. Some of it had already been administered without doctors knowing the vaccines were potentially spoiled. Hope they burn this asshole at the stake.
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Attack of the Killer Squirrels
Squirrels are attacking people in Rego Park, in Queens, NY. I’m talking about serious bites and scratches, some requiring medical attention. No one knows why. At the time of this writing no rabies cases have been reported. Cue theme music from Hitchcock’s “The Birds.”
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Right Wing Zealots Attack Native American Mound
Yep. The rednecks attacked a grave site. They had to be made to not walk upon the mound, which is actually a grave. Apparently they believed that “dark energy” was emanating from the mound. Where do these people come from? Do they have any evidence of this so-called dark energy? Of course not. They never do.
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The NFL has become a bad joke
I love football. All football. And no, soccer is not football. At least not in America. But look at what a bunch of spoiled little bitches NFL players have become! It’s just sick. I’m a lifelong Cowboys fan, and have a bit of affection for the Kansas City Chiefs as well (I lived in KCMO a few years). But players need to leave their politics at home. A ballgame is not the place for political activism. They’re on company time on game day. Fans don’t buy tickets for the players’ bullshit. They came to watch a game.

Punishing Those Who Helped?
A number of distilleries large and small ceased producing liquor to aid in the manufacture of hand sanitizer. This eased the nationwide shortage and allowed everyone to keep a bottle handy. But then our FDA figured out they could level a $14,060 fee upon those distilleries. Some of the tiny one-horse distilleries don’t even make that much in a year. Fortunately, saner minds at the Department of Health and Human Services instructed the FDA to cease and desist. One does not punish those who step up to the plate and help, right?
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It’s a conspiracy!
2020 provided an endless procession of conspiracy theories. I have never in 60+ years of living seen so many wack-jobs, nut buckets and fruitcakes making the rounds on the Internet and cable news. Anti-vaxxers, flat-Earthers, all manner of political conspiracies, and of course those who believe that wearing a mask during the pandemic is somehow a violation of our civil rights. There are even those who insist that the mask constitutes “The Mark of the Beast.” It’d be comical if it weren’t so dangerous.

And the Trumpers. Good grief people. Look, there is a certain level of corruption in every election. Historically the Democrats are a bit worse about it than the Republicans but both sides are guilty. Anyone who’s honest about it will admit that. But like it or not (I don’t), Biden is our next President. He won. Face it. Get over it. Deal with it. The presidency was just the latest leg of Donald Trump’s lifelong ego trip. He wasn’t all bad. Every time we get a new President, the opposing party swears it’s all over for America. It never is. I’ve been alive from Eisenhower all the way through to Trump. We’re still here. Sometimes things get bad, other times they get better. But America always pulls through. And we will keep right on doing so. So cut the crap and move on with your life.

I could keep going but hey, it’s supper time. Oh, and speaking of supper don’t miss the goofy young lady who tried cooking a sirloin steak in a pop-up toaster. I ain’t doing nothing that radical. Just gonna heat some good old Progresso Minestrone soup in the microwave. Or, maybe I could pour it in the toaster?

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