True Story from last night…

I was too lazy to cook last night so I ordered from Panda Express via DoorDash. A half hour later the dasher called and said Panda wasn’t fixing any more steamed rice that evening. I can’t eat fried rice so I canceled the order and opened a can of soup. An email informed me that I would be refunded.

This morning I was still feeling quite lazy (in my defense I just got out of the hospital) so I again went to DoorDash, this time ordering from Jack’s. Jack’s is famous for their great breakfast (cat-head biscuits, gravy, lean sausage, grits etc etc).

So I was sitting here with one eye on the phone app, slurping my coffee and waiting patiently for my eggs/sausage/grits/biscuit. When the dasher arrived I opened the door, and there sat a plastic bag with the Panda Express logo. The contents were cold as a stone. The Dasher lady was just getting out of her car, and was also understandably curious why the bag was there. I collected both bags and had my breakfast. I tossed the Panda bag.

So… I called DoorDash cust svc to get an explanation as to why the bag was on my steps. This guy with a terrible 3rd world accent who talked 90 mph informed me that Panda did in fact have my mushroom chicken, but just didn’t have the rice. When I asked how long it had been sitting there exposed to the elements, bugs and stray cats, he admitted he had no idea. It was about 5:40 AM. Panda wouldn’t be open for several hours so it must’ve been delivered the night before.

But!!!…
As a courtesy, they were *only* charging me for the chicken. Now folks, y’all that know me know my fuse is a little shorter than most. I came unglued. I flipped a bitch on this guy. In the end, his boss (also with a bad accent) agreed to refund 100% of the order. So ok, problem solved. Sort of.

And while we’re at it, why should I, a red-blooded American citizen have to deal with some asshole who barely speaks my language? This is the USA and I am sick of having to ask people to repeat themselves because their (ahem) “English” sounds like gibberish in a blender.

Maybe after Trump gets rid of the towel-headed, sandal-wearing linguistically challenged wannabe truck drivers, he can take a similar approach with foreign call centers. Enough is enough.